NEVERLAND...A Place The World Will Come to Know

The world mourns the loss of Michael Jackson and he will forever be remembered as one of the greatest entertainers the world has ever come to know...but did we really know Michael Jackson? We knew his music, his good works and his love for humanity, but did we know Michael Jackson?

God gives some of us gifts -- the ability to write, the gift to lift people up, to encourage, to sing, to play musical instruments...and then there are those of us who have the ability to "see into" the soul of another human being.

On Tuesday, the world will come together as "one" when we pay our respects to this great ledgend, this beautiful butterfly who touched the lives and souls of so many people around the globe...finally, our "great butterfly" who danced on stage, who moon-walked his way into people's hearts, who sang about the "man in the mirror" will see his dream fulfilled...when the world stands still and steps aside to welcome him into "NEVERLAND" and the streets are paved in gold...and those of us who were so blessed to know him -- to know his soul -- can rest with him. He came into this world to serve and he served well!

Always with a Heart of Love,

Bonnie Tierney
Author & Veteran

Your Wake Up Call Bonnie

You never know how much you want to live until you die! Five weeks ago I had major surgery at the VA hospital in Denver and while everything went well in surgery, apparently they lost me in the recovery room! I remember talking to the nurse after surgery and the next thing I know the nurse is crying next to me at my bedside as I opened my eyes. Apparently, I had low tolerance to the pain medication administered to me and I stopped breathing. She said, "we lost you -- you turned as purple as my uniform." It was obvious she was new to her profession by her reaction but I was elated non the less to be alive. For a moment, I remembered how I had often contemplated suicide over the last 25 years because of my PTSD from my military experiences with the bombing of the Beirut Marine barracks on October 23, 1983. It wasn't until she said I stopped breathing that I realized just how much I wanted to live!

Nothing in life is worth taking your life -- not money, not love, not family, not depression, not bullying and certainly not from our military experiences. I had to die in order to value life, value my health. I suppose God would say -- "This is your Wake Up Call Bonnie" I heard him loud and clear.

I'm thankful to the doctors at the VA who brought me back and I'm thankful for the life I have experienced -- both the good and the bad. For the last year, I have been doing extremely well but I know however many days, weeks, months and years that I am blessed with -- I will value them by "making a difference everyday" in the lives I touch everyday. Whether it is a brief encounter with a stranger, or talking with family and friends -- I will remember that I stopped breathing and now have a second chance at life.

I told my therapist a month ago that I spent the last 25 years "Locked in Time" -- stuck in the past and allowed the tragic bombing of the Marine Barracks that killed 241 soldiers to greatly effect my life nearly every day -- so much that many times I had contemplated suicide. I lost so much time because of my PTSD. I can no longer be held captive to my expereinces, to the memories that haunted me so long. While I will NEVER forget what happened to those soldiers and yes, while I'm angry that even the "Simpsons" rate a postage stamp fromt he US Postal Service and our soldiers who died so senselessly can't even get that honor -- I will use what precious time I have on this earth to live...Lord knows I've sacrificed much for my country...now it's time for me to experience the beauty of our earth and truly live life to its fullest.

With a Heart of Love,

Bonnie Tierney
Author & Veteran

Replace Toilet Paper With the Stimulus Package

President Obama came to Denver to sign the stimulus package yesterday, but if the truth be known, he could have taken those 1,000 sheets of paper and put them on Air Force 1 to use as toilet paper as far as I am concerned. I can't believe I've remained silent on the way our government is spending our tax dollars. Greed in America is really alive and I trust few people in government at this point. President Obama talks of "saving or creating" 3M jobs...is it saving or is it creating? I'm confused because 800B would give hundreds of thousands more jobs than just 3M people. Help me understand the law of this land. Our banks are getting bailouts and loan sharking at the same time by charging interest rates as high as 29% for many people. How the hell are people going to pay their bills off with interest rates that high? I'm not blaming President Obama for trying to fix the mess that George Bush and the republicans created, but let's face it, corporate America is greedy and while Eric Holder had the nerve to call us a "Nation of Cowards" I believe we are "too trusting." I hope every military member on active duty invites Eric Holder to the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan -- let's see who would be the coward! Put your "Trust not in our government of fools -- nor the "mighty dollar" but rather trust yourselves and keep a close watch on the people who claim to care and don't." Our politicians, republicans and democrats have let us, the American people down. The only way to get their attention is to vote all of them out of office when given the opportunity to do so. Can I get some of that stimulus package for my bathroom now?

If Only

If Only

If I only knew your thoughts

What you are thinking

No use today - even tomorrow

Your stubborness and cold heart

are keeping us apart

You win my friend -

Another New Year passes

We sip on wine

And secretly remember

The memories of our past

Knowing how profoundly

Our love still lasts

You sit and I wait

The clock continues in endless tick

If I only knew your thoughts.

With a Heart of Love,

Bonnie Tierney

Author & Veteran

With A Heart of Love for the 241

To My Comrades


You are not alone today
You stand tall and with your family by your side
Memories of your past will live on forever
In the hearts and souls of so many

Your names are each etched on the wall
And through time many have come to understand
The how, who, what where and when
The senselessness of the attack on the Marine barracks
that took each of you from us

Today though, I remember with a Heart of Love
I remember not the darkness but the love
That each of your families and loved ones send my way
For on this day I have surrendered
My pain, my tears and all that I remember

That is destructive to my personal being
I will learn to walk in the light
With you by side giving me strength
To know that today I too have given my all

Light a candle for me my friends
Hold me by your side
In your hearts and souls
I will now forever reside

With a Heart of Love
Written for the 241 soldiers
Who are no longer just names on a wall

Bonnie Tierney
October 23, 2008

For the Grace of God....

The Heart of My Ocean


You are the heart of my ocean
Your very existence keeps me alive
Nothing else around me seems to matter
I’m holding on to this feeling – so fearful of letting go

Time seems so endless and yet I know the clock is ticking
The waves cover me – the water pounding against my face
The pain continues, relentless in the effort to arouse me
Vivid memories rip at the very core of my existence
Why can’t I forget?

Then I reach down – deep into my heart
I’m reminded of you again
Nothing can hurt me anymore
For I have given more than I have left
And that which remains is all that I have.

You are the heart of my ocean
When the sun sets and the ocean grows calm
And you lie down to rest
I will close my eyes and rest with you
For all that matters will be no more
Why? You are the heart of my ocean.

By

B.J. Tierney
December 31, 2001

Written for

“Rose” who wears “Big Shoes”

The powerful "Grace" in My Life

Re-dedicated this October 23, 2008

Dedicated to the 241 Who Sacrificed the Ultimate

I STILL REMEMBER

When I raised my hand and took my oath
I could have never known
The land I loved with all my heart
Would send me far from home.
There across the ocean nearly 23 years ago
In a land so far away
My life suddenly changed in just one day.
Soldiers upon soldiers
One by one they came
In black body bags
Some just in pieces
Body parts covered in dirt and soil
From terror in a land so far away
Handle them gently and love them greatly
For they died in their sleep
So senseless they died for no reason
In the fall of the season
They spoke to me one by one:
I am in heaven
Take what remains and honor me, but weep for me no more.
Like you my solider, we always stand at death’s door.
I took my oath to honor and obey
Now, strength and courage is yours to display.
Weep for me no more.
Though I was sleeping in the barracks that night
I would have rather had a chance to fight
But terrorism is a coward even in the darkness of the night.
The battle will continue my friend
Your life will be changed forever
For on this day you send me home
You will always remember.
Weep for me no more
You now have to struggle each and every day.
I wish with all my heart I could take your pain away
But I know I cannot
Weep for me no more.
Return me to the land I love
To the country that I served
Please honor me in a way I deserve.

Nearly 23 years have passed and I still remember
The 241 Marine soldiers who died and went home in November.

By

Bonnie J. Tierney
April 6, 2006

Resubmitted: October 23, 2008

25 Years Later